“I’m terrible at making decisions.”
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking about this for X amount of time but never do anything about it.”
“I have so many ideas, I can't commit to one.”
These are phrases I hear repeatedly from clients, friends, and people seeking clarity in their lives. Decision-making, while essential, often feels overwhelming. The fear of making the wrong choice or being stuck in indecision can leave you paralysed, resulting in missed opportunities and stagnation.
Here are some powerful strategies to help you shift your mindset, make clearer decisions, and move forward with confidence.
1. Indecision Is a Decision
Let’s start with a mindset shift: indecision is a decision. When you avoid making a choice, you’re actually making a choice—to keep things exactly as they are. While this may seem like the safer route, it often leads to more frustration and missed opportunities. If you're unhappy in your current situation but fail to act, you are choosing to remain stuck. Recognising that indecision is an active decision can empower you to start taking control and moving toward positive change.
Ask yourself: Am I letting indecision hold me back from growth?
2. Put Time Aside and Seek Guidance
Once you recognise that indecision itself is a choice, it's time to take active steps to gain clarity. Many people claim they don’t know what to do when faced with a tough decision, but few proactively set time aside to explore their options. Instead, they ruminate, becoming overwhelmed and distracted by the noise of everyday life. Actionable insight comes when you set aside dedicated time to think, write, research, and discuss your options.
This is why coaching is so effective. In a focused, supportive environment, a skilled coach will help you dig deep, ask the right questions, and bring clarity to your thinking. Create space for real introspection instead of staying stuck in an endless loop of uncertainty.
Ask yourself: Am I making time to properly reflect on my choices, or am I allowing distractions to control my decision-making?
3. Define Your Values
Before exploring your options, it’s crucial to understand what truly matters to you. This is where your core values come into play. Strong self-awareness is key to effective decision-making. When you're clear on your core values—whether it’s integrity, family, success, or adventure—making decisions becomes easier because you have a guidepost. Decisions that align with your values will naturally feel more right, and you're less likely to second-guess them.
Spend time reflecting on your values. What do you stand for? How do you want to live your life? Making value-based decisions will lead to greater fulfillment and less regret.
Ask yourself: Does this choice align with the person I want to be and the life I want to live?
4. The Power of Intuition
When you're clear on your values, your intuition can often guide you toward decisions that align with your true self. "Trust your gut" is advice we’ve all heard, but often overlook. Did you know that your brain and gut are directly connected through the nervous system? When you take time to calm your mind and quiet external noise, you can tap into your intuition for guidance.
Rather than getting lost in over-analysis, give yourself permission to slow down and trust the insights that come from within. Your intuition is often a reliable compass, especially when balanced with rational thinking.
Ask yourself: What does my gut tell me about this decision?
5. Emotional vs. Rational Thinking
While trusting your gut is important, it’s also essential to balance that with rational thinking to ensure you’re making informed decisions. Recognise the balance between emotion and logic in your decision-making process. While emotions can provide valuable insights into how a decision feels, it's important to combine that with rational thinking. Weigh the facts, pros, and cons of your choices to ensure you're making balanced decisions.
Ask yourself: Am I making this decision based purely on emotion, or have I considered the facts?
6. The 10-10-10 Rule
To gain perspective and remove the emotional weight of decision-making, try the 10-10-10 Rule. Ask yourself:
How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
How will I feel in 10 months?
How will I feel in 10 years?
This simple exercise helps you escape the pressure of short-term emotions and consider the long-term implications of your decision. It's a powerful way to bring clarity and reduce anxiety around making choices.
Ask yourself: How might this decision shape my future self?
7. Risk vs. Reward Analysis
Every decision involves an element of risk. Conduct a risk vs. reward analysis to weigh the potential benefits against the possible downsides. Ask yourself: What’s the worst-case scenario, and am I willing to accept it? This method helps you approach decisions with a clear understanding of what’s at stake, reducing fear and hesitation.
Ask yourself: Is the potential reward worth the risk I’m considering?
8. Patience in Decision-Making
While indecision can hold you back, taking time to reflect thoughtfully before acting is a different kind of patience—one that allows you to make clearer, better-informed decisions. Sometimes, the best decision is to take a step back and allow time to provide clarity. Rushed decisions can lead to unnecessary mistakes while giving yourself the space to reflect can often result in better outcomes. If you’re feeling pressured, practice patience. "Sleeping on it" can offer fresh insights and reduce stress.
Ask yourself: Am I rushing this decision, or am I giving myself the time to reflect properly?
9. Reframe Failure
No decision is perfect, and mistakes happen. However, failure can be reframed as part of the learning process. Recognising that every choice, good or bad, contributes to your growth removes the fear of failure and empowers you to make decisions with more confidence.
Ask yourself: What can I learn from this decision, regardless of the outcome?
10. The Newspaper Rule and Grandchild Rule
If you're struggling with a decision, use these two simple but powerful visualisation techniques:
The Newspaper Rule: Imagine your decision being published on the front page of a major newspaper. Would you be proud if your friends, family, or colleagues read about it? This helps you consider the wider impact of your choices.
The Grandchild Rule: Picture your grandchildren, 40 years from now, learning about your decision. Would they admire it? Would they be proud of the choice you made?
These techniques push you to consider your legacy and the long-term effects of your decisions, not just on yourself, but on others.
Ask yourself: Would I feel proud of this decision if it were made public?
As former U.S. President Barack Obama once said, “Once you're 51% sure about a decision, commit to it.” In other words, rarely will you have all the information you need, but waiting for 100% certainty can leave you stuck. Make the best decision with the information you have, then move forward with confidence, knowing you've done your best.
Decision-making doesn’t have to be agonising. By shifting your mindset, using these practical strategies, and aligning your choices with your values, you can overcome indecision and make choices that move you toward a more fulfilling life.
If you're feeling stuck or uncertain about your next move, know that you're not alone. Many of us have been in that place, myself included. For me, the turning point was working with a life coach, who helped me find the clarity and courage to pursue what I truly desired. Now, I have the privilege of helping others facing similar struggles. Whether you're seeking guidance or simply need a sounding board, I’m here to support you as you navigate your own path toward the life you envision.
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